My daughter doesn’t listen to me at all

My daughter is pure evil, she doesn’t listen to me at all. I am teaching her about what to do and what not to do and she doesn’t follow even single instruction:

  • Don’t eat too much at night, while I am overweight
  • Don’t watch tv at night, while I watch movies at night
  • Manage your time well, while I am always in hurry for office
  • Don’t worry about marks or results just give your best, while I worry about my year end rating all the time
  • Talk to elders with respect, while I shout at house help and waiter all the time
  • Read books, while I read magazines
  • Don’t spend too much time on mobile, while I am always on Instagram
  • Don’t be angry, while I shout at marketing guys on phone for calling me
  • Keep your room clean while I throw my clothes all over house
  • Be on time, while I am always late for family gatherings
  • Make good friends, while I party and come home drunk every weekend
  • Become independent, while I am failing to manage home budget
  • Don’t worry about materialistic things, while I show anger when relatives give me gifts I don’t like
  • Eat healthy, while I am always ordering pizza and burger for myself

I really don’t know how to maker her follow simplest of instructions.

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